Visited a friend dog owner?
Sat on their sofa with a cake and a cuppa in yopur lap?
Comfortable?
Then the young dog comes, immediatelly you decide this dog is unrully!
Before you know it, your cool nonchalant composure is gone, and with it the comfort of a friendly environment, and at this moment you would preffer never to lay eyes on that damned cake. Chocolate Fudge! Your favourite.
Your hand finds itself stretched to the ceiling, still holding the damn plate, now offering the chocolate heaven to the gods.
Your other hand is vainly trying not to spill the coffee on your friends new beige leather sofa, your elbows find an added strength to push into the solid wall of a huge chest. Big black chest is closing in, and with it, a gigantic slobbering tounge approaching your quivering chin. You stand no chance. Totally put of the cake about to be drawned in a pool of slobber, coffee cup only half ful, most of the liquid is scorching the skin on your thighs.
This is one of those life changing moments. Till now your view of dogs was mildly disinterested. They were fine at a distance, occasionally you may have cooed over a cute puppy.
But at this moment you harbour no nice feelings, there is nothing mild about the rage inside you, when you realise the dog owner sitting comfortably in her chair, looking at the scene doing .... zilch!
"Ehm, help?" your voice changed into a pathetic whisper yopu will never admit to in your entire life. You might change your opinion of this so called friend while you are at it.
"Oh, don't mind him, he is still a puppy. He is not agressive, he is just... well...being a bit rude."
"He is a sucker for cakes, and of course he can't have any. Just push him away."
Easier said then done. This is a scene of absolute entrapment. More effective than a straight jacket.
The owner, so called friend, finally waves her arm, and the dog slouches away.
WHAT A RELIEF! Am I still one piece?
Can't wait to get away.
Sort of melt when this giant puppy comes to lick me goodbye. It walks me to my car.
I draw the line when the dog wants to climb into the drivers seat.
After a while, and several 'nerves calming drinks', I conclude, perhaps I just don't know how to be with dogs.
And so they remain 'all right at a distance' because nobody can accuse me of lacking a sense of humour.